“From small beginnings come great things”

We conceived Eelan in Vietnam in February of 2016. We’ve been waiting excitedly for her to come into our lives. Ironically I was raised Catholic, but found out 3 years ago that my background, my ancestors were actually jewish. I left the church about 7 years ago. I consider myself to believe in the universe, in mother Earth. And so many would probably say I am a pagan or an atheist. Eelan, the name we had picked then for our unborn child means Tree in Hebrew. Whether it was a boy or girl, that would be the name. Her middle name is Ati, this is the name the Arhuacos (an indigenous tribe in Colombia) calls Mother Earth.

Eelan started her nomad life since she was in my belly. After we finished our contracts in Vietnam we travelled that summer to the US as usual, I was about 5 months pregnant, and then almost 6 weeks later we arrived in our new home, Qatar at 7 months pregnant. This is where Eelan would make her entrance into this planet.

On Friday Nov 11 at 3 am I started having (again) irregular contractions which lasted all day. My water had not broken, so I knew I would not go to the hospital until that happened or until contractions where at least 10 minutes apart. I spent the early morning talking to both my sister and my soul sister Melissa. I ate dates, burned incense, listened to meditation music, ate more dates as they stimulate uterine contractions, read bits and pieces of birthing books and facebooked funny videos, but at times of pain I did Reiki on myself and talked to Eelan.

In the afternoon we took Gaia to the park, I was still having contractions about 20 minutes apart. We came back home, I made dinner and continued with my contractions, eating dates and doing some yoga poses when the contractions peaked. I went to the bathroom at 7pm and noticed my mucous plug. I told Bert and we decided to go and see what the dilation process was. My mom who graciously came to help, stayed with Gaia. I kissed my little one and said “goodbye” I knew it would not be the same once I came back home with another child.

We got to the hospital around 8pm and I was 3 cms dilated. It was discouraging! I was hoping at least for 5. The nurses recommended I go home and come back in two hours, that way I would be more comfortable, indeed! No place like home. Initially I wanted to do a home birth but it is not legal here in the Middle East. This was possible in Vietnam but I could not imagine in case of an emergency having to come out of our tiny alley looking for a taxi…

We got home at 9pm and the contractions got closer and more painful. At this point I had eaten all my delicious dates, all I had left was yoga and my reiki ritual. I had my two most important crystals at this time with me: malachite, which aids during the changes in womanhood and baby development, and Howalite, which is very soothing and calming. I would grab hard on them during each contraction and do my Reiki prayers. At 11:30 Dr. Rasha called me, I told her my contractions were about 11 minutes apart. She asked me to meet her at the hospital.  By the time we parked and got to the delivery room it was almost midnight. I was now 5 cms and not very thrilled with my slow but intense progress. She asked me if I wanted oxytocin (pitocin) to make it a little faster, but I told her I wanted to go as natural as possible. The loyal nurses then handed her my birth plan. She was fine with it, she was offering the option so as to go through the pain faster, she could tell I am not the strongest when it comes to pain tolerance. She got a room next to mine and told me she would be checking on me. She said it could take long.

Bert and I got in the bed together but during every contraction I had to get up. The pain started getting intense and within a matter of an hour I screamed at the peak of a contraction. Nurses and Dr. Rasha rushed in, they measured me and I was 7 cms dilated. She said she could give me 5 drops so they could get closer, as they were still 10 minutes apart. Suddenly I started shivering, I was cold, and in my tiredness I begged for oxytosin, for anything that could relieve the pain! I had lost sight of my Reiki prayers, and within 15 minutes I felt like pooping and so it was the marking point to starting labour. I had the idea that this second time could maybe hurt less or be easier, but it wasn’t, and it was at that point that I felt vulnerable. She had to use a catheter to release my bladder (that hurt) and she had to break my water to speed the process. Pushing was excruciatingly painful, almost impossible, I was given gas to help me calm, but then I felt like I could not breath. I was cold, I felt defeated in the shadows of my courage. I knew Eelan’s heart beat was stable but because of the loop around her head she could not continue to move down. One of the nurses had to push my belly at the same time I pushed in an effort to help her move down the birth canal. The oxytocin kept coming, and I could see Dr. Rasha’s face feeling frustrated… I was losing this battle of being strong in this second important phase of motherhood. I begged mercy, I ached and yelled in Spanish, I begged Eelan to come out, and over the gas mask I could see between blurriness Bert’s kind eyes, holding my hand, and for a second time I was never this vulnerable as I was when I gave brith to Gaia. Bert’s loving look gave me hope.

Finally I heard nurses and Dr. Rasha said she was almost out, they ask for a last push and as I gathered strength from my lover’s look I pushed as the nurse pushed my belly and she was gracefully out, with a long and thin cord around her neck. At 2:28 am on Saturday November 12 of 2016, Eelan’s spirit started her human experience here on Earth. We are blessed that she chose our family to have this new life. At 38 weeks and 5 days she was healthy, weighing 7.1 lbs (3.2 Kilos) and measuring 19″ (49 cms). She stayed with me skin to skin, we warmed each other, we finished this metamorphic process with ease, she cried, she latched, she was perfect. Bert cut the infamous chord and we made sure she was not cleaned to protect her vernix. She did not get vaccines as we would wait for the second month. I pushed my placenta, I got a few stitches from my tear and we were off to a good night sleep. She slept on me the rest of the night, or morning if you will.

Special gratitude to my partner and amazing father Bert, the love and excitement of her big sister Gaia, the kind support of my mother who came half way around the world, the distant companionship of her godmother Melissa, who was always there for me throughout this new transition, and my baby sister who acted like my doula while I started labor.  And many many thanks to our Vietnam family who has continued loving us, and our new Doha family who has made sure we are well.

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